#Fact: Approach That Attractive Stranger and Meet Her. She is Just a Person.

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

Have you ever seen a woman when you’re standing in a bar, or standing in Whole Foods, or a coffee shop? It doesn’t really matter where you are, but then your mind takes over  the fantasy part of your mind and you start manufacturing an entire story about her? You start putting her up on this pedestal.  And women do the same exact thing: they will see a guy and they won’t smile at him because they think, maybe he’s the one! Oh man, I like him.

How do you like somebody that you’ve never spoken to before?  That’s the most ridiculous concept in the entire world, and it’s something that everybody needs to get over. You like somebody? You like the way they look?  Let’s break it down into what it really is.

You see someone who is physically appealing to you, so you look at them from across the room and the first thing that triggers in your mind, the only thing that should trigger in your mind is that you like the way they look. That’s it.

You don’t like them; you don’t even know what they’re about. The woman or man that you’re looking at could have a big huge piece of broccoli between their teeth, a booger hanging out of their nose, or breath that would absolutely rival your dog’s on his worst day.

Yet you’ve built them up as this incredible fantasy before you even talk to them. You build them up as something; maybe they are the person who is going to rescue you from your single hell. You hope that this is the last person that you ever need to talk to again, because you are just so sick and tired of being single.

But the bottom line is that the stranger that you’re looking at is just that: a stranger, the physical image of who they are. It might as well be just a photograph. If you start manufacturing this entire fantasy about who they are, you’re not even noticing anything about what they might be doing.  You’re not noticing what they are doing, you’re not noticing their body language, and you’re not noticing any emotions that may be on their face. You’re noticing absolutely nothing. Nothing. Because you’re lost in fantasyland, in la la land, and you’re creating this whole fantasy.

So now everybody in fantasyland starts thinking about what to say. What do I say to this incredible person that I like and want to meet so badly? You don’t like them! You like the way they look!

So what you need to do is realize that until you speak to a person, you have no idea what they are about. If you think about it, 90% of people that you have spoken to in your life you have had no chemistry with. That’s right, nine out of ten people that you don’t really have much chemistry with. And that’s fine.  At least you went over there and talked to them.

The only way to figure out if you like them is to go over and talk to them. Talk to them like they are a person, which is exactly what they are. Don’t treat them any differently, talk to them exactly how they are.  Last night, we were in a bar and we were all out. I looked at my client and I said to him, “there’s a woman, why don’t you just go walk over and talk to her?  ”Now?” he asked, and I responded, “no, why don’t you wait until you get hammered and shitfaced drunk? And then, when she’s sitting down at a table, you can beat yourself up because you didn’t go talk to her all night long."

“Yes, NOW!”,”But she’s cute!”, he said, and I responded, “it doesn’t matter! Walk the hell over there and find out what she’s all about!” And he did, and they talked for 20 minutes and had a great conversation. Do you know what he found out? That she was a nice woman.

That’s what you need to do. If you see someone that you are attracted to, you don’t like them. You just like the way that they look. They are physically appealing to your eyes, and that’s about it.  So your mindset needs to be whatever it might be to get you to walk over there. You can use any type of mindset tricks. You can think to yourself, man, I’m going to go over there and talk to that person and see if they have as bad of breath as I think they do. Anything to get you laughing and smiling.

Walk the hell over there and talk to them. Start a conversation based on observations and everything else. You know what? You might find out that this dream person is actually the worst nightmare in the entire world. She might be whipping out pictures of her mother and her father and her three illegitimate children running around the hills of western Kentucky.

You don’t know what the hell she’s all about. So go talk to her, and stay out of fantasyland. Stay in reality.

#kthxbye