Qualification: The #Art of Asking Questions
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger
Next that brings us to the essence of qualification or essentially the art of qualifying others beyond simply time wasting. For that let’s look at one of my heroes. Bill Gates. I slept with his daughter once. Ok it wasn’t THE Bill Gates daughter but still it makes a good story.
Anyway if you were ever to meet good old Bill, how likely do you think it would be for him to spend his time telling you how much money he made this morning? Or just how amazing his business was going? Incredibly unlikely right? That’s because he’s so comfortable with who he is, he doesn’t need to prove to you how great he is. He has no need to qualify himself or for a better word prove himself to you. He knows he’s great, heck he knows you know who he is. Instead he would be more likely to question you, to ask you how you’re doing and more importantly what you’re up to in your life. As soon as you begin answering him you’re highly likely to find yourself qualifying yourself to him.
This is a common situation found in most social settings, those outside the situation looking in will see one person questioning the other, and the other answering, typically trying to show how good they’re doing, seeking approval form the other. Just like in an interview situation the value of each person speaks for itself. Naturally not all interactions are so one sided. You rarely meet someone of such high value, typically the rolls switch back and forth as a power struggle in the conversation moves between two different people.
Now of course what we’re interested in is how to use this to attract a girl. Well lets take the following situation. Something I call the car paradox.
We all know girls like fast expensive cars. Yet we also know a guy who shows his nice car to a girl is unlikely to get anywhere beyond being her chauffeur for a journey or two if he’s lucky. So just why does this paradox happen? Well it all comes down to qualification. Most guys with a nice car don’t simply allow the girl to find it naturally or by accident. They instead try to drop in as many hints and suggestions as to their car right off the bat. This of course is completely see through and as clear as glass. The girl can see the guy trying to impress her with his car and therefore qualifying himself to her. The power struggle we spoke about earlier is already won, and so her interest in finding a higher value male diminishes at least with regards to this poor Porsche ridden chap.
If he had instead allowed her to naturally find out he had a car after she was already attracted to him it would serve as a tool to further fuel her desire for him.
To learn more about how to meet & attract women, check out the Toolbox over at the Pick Up Podcast