Understanding #Love and Intimacy Leads to A Healthy Relationship

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Jordan Harbinger

A friend asked me this very interesting question: “Do you believe it is possible to love more than one person at one time?"

Before I share my answer with you, let me tell you a little bit about my background. I have been “in love” several times so far in my 39 years on this planet. Each breakup was very difficult because of something I noticed about the nature of women.

One of the bittersweet things I noticed about my relationships with women is that I could never fully replace the emotions and experience I had with any of them, once the relationship was over. Perhaps you can relate to the emotion of longing to replace something with a woman who is now long gone from your life, and being unable to do so no matter how many new women you meet. I have felt that sort of pain too many times to mention.  However, there is a flip side to this that is much more positive: with each new relationship comes a brand new set of experiences and emotions that could not have been had with any of the previous women!

In spite of the fact that in significant ways, every woman is unique, I have also noticed that all women have enough in common with each other that we can make some useful generalizations about them, including specific personality categories. Some of these categories include high self-esteem (HSE), low self-esteem (LSE), Materialista, Good Girl and Adventuress, and so on. I won’t get into detail with these categories today, but I need to emphasize that making such distinctions is in no way  making a moral judgment for or against certain women or their behavior patterns. Rather, these categories are very useful tools when it comes to screening.

Screening is important because your time and your energy are finite resources that should be spent wisely. I’ll have much more to say about screening in the future, but suffice it to say for now that if you are not wise when it comes to choosing your female companions, you are essentially robbing time and energy from women you would be more compatible with.  So then, do I feel it is possible to love more than one woman at a time? Absolutely I do!

Many people view love as a fixed sum, finite entity. In other words, they believe that there is only so much love that one can offer to the world. Those of us who are parents know how preposterous the idea is that loving one person means you need to shut it off for someone else.  Of course, there is the issue of time and resource management. However, I have a daughter whom I love more than anyone else. When I have a second child, I will love that child as well. To say that this means I will by necessity love my daughter any less, is preposterous.

Love is not a finite resource. Time and energy are finite; love is not.

The word ‘love’ in itself means a lot of different things to different people. For me, I feel all sorts of different emotions with every friendship and every romance. Many of these emotions overlap with each other, but the complete emotional experience is never identical from one relationship to the next.
You can and should be aware of what types of love you feel for which people, because this will enable you to set standards and manage your time and energy. More importantly, it will help you to select the right people to receive your time and energy.  In all my experience I see no limits to the nature and types of love you can feel for any number of people. As far as I can tell, the only limits are your imagination, your time, and your energy.

Success = preparation + opportunity. I can help you to acquire the skills to meet and attract lots of women, to select the right ones for you, and then to maintain those relationships for as long as you want and circumstances permit. You will need to be proactive in meeting these women and escalating any relationship towards its logical outcome. If you are willing to do this, you will have more opportunities for passionate love than you would otherwise; indeed, more than most men alive today will ever have.

To learn more about how to meet & attract women, check out the Toolbox over at the Pick Up Podcast!