#NerdsUnite: The Ramblings of a Raconteuse (Growing up and Going home)
<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Helenna. We met on twitter not too long ago, and she's totes mcgotes one rad chiquita banana with a flare for all things flair! That's right, Helenna here is what we call an artsy fartsy nerd. She's a poet, into all things dramatic arts, and she's going to come on board to write each week about her love of said drama. Well not like actual drama drama, like some cat fight shit - but you get the idea.
I only have one thing left to say ... HIT IT HELENNA!!! </editorsnote>
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Helslevy
I’m sitting in YVR waiting to catch my plane back to LAX feeling super emotional. Airports are always a cathartic place for me. To me they are a symbolic bridge showing me where I’m going vs. where I’ve been both literally and figuratively, and each time I visit my parents my ideas of home and growing up start to shift.
Going back to Vancouver also always makes me really nostalgic and I start thinking about the life I’ve lived so far and the choices I’ve made. Who I am now vs. who I was last time I visited. I feel like I always end up experiencing a kind of “New Year’s Resolution” type reflection of things and I take stock of all of the things in my life.
Right now I feel like I have my feet in two places. I’m an adult who “plays” for her career, and I surround myself with other like minded sandbox dwellers, storytellers and truth-seekers. Because of that, I think that no matter how old I get, my Peter Pan instinct will always be the brightest light I follow.
This trip back, like usual, I feel a little older, a little wiser, and the Peter Pan instinct inside of me got a few more glimpses of the “adult world.”
Also visiting my family was especially emotional for me this time. My grandmother has had Alzheimer’s for a number of years now, and this is the first trip back where she had a hard time recognizing me. Once she remembered who I was it was like I had my old Granny back, but then my next visit I had to reintroduce myself again. I know that each time I go back, her condition will progressively worsen, and I am doing my best to prepare myself for it and enjoy each minute I have with her.
She has been like a third parent to me my whole life. My grandmother helped raise me and I owe so much to the lessons she has taught me and the love she has given me.
Growing up is hard. Being away from family is even harder as time goes on. But I know that fully living my life and pursuing the path laid out in front of me is what my parents want for me most. They want me to be happy.
My father is an incredible man who lived through World War II as a child in the Philippines and has taught me so much about not taking life too seriously because things could always be worse, and my mother is literally the most amazing woman and best mom I could have ever hoped for. She has a kindness in her heart that is matched by few.
I have 2 half sisters and 2 half brothers who I am so grateful for who even though they are double my age, have always made me feel like an equal.
And I have a husband that I am flying home to who is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Period.
I truly have the best family.
Everyone always says that home is where the heart is and I’m learning that my heart can have different sections set aside for each person, each time of my life, and each place. It’s all home to me, and I keep it safe, nestled within me. We weather storms together and dance joyously together in my “Peter Pan getaway shoes.”
And now…home is coming with me to Los Angeles on Alaska Air Flight 706.
