I'm just feeling #lame.
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard
I am feeling so many emotions lately. I am stressed about my upcoming wedding expo, but also excited at the prospect of gaining new clients. It is scary because I might be sinking tons of money into this and only get one wedding booked, but business is risk, I suppose.
I have been feeling very not confident in my photography lately, which way bums me out. I get good feedback, but it’s not so much that. Actually, it’s really stupid, and I hate to say it, but it is what it is. I started my business at the same time as another girl in town, and we became friends. We helped each other a lot, learned together, and grew together. We are at about the same point in our business, and we have the same skill sets. Our work is pretty similar, quality is the same, comparable equipment....yet she has over 800 Facebook likes, and I have less than 400. I know that doesn’t mean much, but actually it does. Social media is everything now, and that is how I get the majority of my clients. I just don’t get it...and it is really taking a toll on me. And I’m embarrassed that I even feel that way, but I do so I might as well acknowledge it.
Another thing I feel lame about is the TNTML community. I feel like a total outsider. Maybe it’s because I’m newer, or maybe because I started lifecasting right as everyone had to stop contributing so much after the hack. Or maybe I’m just being a tard, but whatever it is I feel not so accepted and for the first time in my life that actual matters to me.
I know life is reflective and I shouldn’t need validation and whatnot...but it is what it is. I am putting every single little piece of my soul into my business and lifecasting, so of course these things are hardcore painful. It’s parts of my soul that just aren’t good enough. It’s feels like me failing at being a person, not just at being a photographer. And I’m totally not even failing...I just am not feeling good enough. Not a feeling I am used to, and not a feeling I am okay with. I’m just not sure how to look past it.
Feel free to share your thoughts: @JenSquard