Top Five Movie/Television #Ironies
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Shabana Malone
Ironic: 1. Apparently contradictory 2. coincidental; unexpected
There are a few instances in which life imitates art and irony shows itself in the motion picture arts. Here are some examples:
1. Superman couldn't walk. The man of steel, the man who could fly, the gorgeous man with x-ray vision, super-hearing, who could leap tall buildings in a single bound...lost the ability to walk. Such a tragic irony, like God making a joke that's kinda not that funny, taking away Superman's ability to walk or even take care of himself, let alone the rest of us. OK I get it ya'll. He was just an actor. But I think God was trying to say something. What are you trying to say, God? "Save yourselves!"
2. "Mr. Brady died of AIDS" - That was Ethan Hawke's reply to Winona Ryder when she asked why everything couldn't "just go back to normal at the end of the half hour, like in the Brady Bunch". And his answer sums up the sad irony of reality, which quite frankly does bite. The perfect TV father / stepfather in real life was not a straight, healthy manly man with all the answers at the end of the day. Again, what's the message here? In real life, my dad was less like Mr. Brady and more like the dad in 'The Stepfather'.
3. Prophecy of the marriage of Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes. Cameron Crowe foresaw the union of Suri Cruise's parents. In the beginning of 'Vanilla Sky' when Tom Cruise is dreaming that Times Square was empty, one of the pictures that flashed on the billboard was a magazine cover with Katie Holmes on it. Was he dreaming of her even then? Was that just a coincidence or was the relationship staged that far in advance? Was the director psychic? Was God trying to foreshadow the future? Or did watching the movie over and over cause Katie's image to seep into Tom's subconscious like a subliminal message? Because I wasn't too impressed by her performance in 'Batman Begins' as Tom supposedly was. If he fell head over heels for her watching 'Dawson's Creek' or even 'Abandon', I'd kinda get it, but 'Batman Begins'? Really? But I digress...
4. Marty McFly has Parkinson's?? I just find this ironic because Michael J. Fox, who was incidentally my first crush, had the amazing genetic material to look about half his age for most of his life. I mean, he played a 17-year-old at age 29. Then his genes done fucked up and gave him Parkinson's and aged him faster than he had ever aged before. Or maybe that was father time.) It's like that really bad Mel Gibson movie ''Forever Young'. I still love ya, Marty! Travel back in time and invent a cure for Parkinsons! Oh wait, you wrecked the DeLorean.
5. Walt Disney is the Devil: We have all heard the rumors. The number of letters in his full name = 666; he had his head frozen; but to me, other things make it obvious that Walt Disney is doing the devil's work. Oh, irony of ironies that the name we associate the most with children's entertainment is actually pure evil. The example that stands out the most is the new Mickey Mouse club television show. He unknowingly (?) launched the careers of a bunch of kids who turned out to be gyrating, sexual fantasy-inspiring, minions of the devil. Cases in point: Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Keri Russell (okay, she's pretty pure but too gorgeous to live) and Ryan Gosling. So basically, watching MMC is like watching retroactive kiddie porn. All of the above mentioned were in the same cast and somehow managed to become superstar pop icons who make a lot of money by being sexy and innocent at the same time. The other reason Walt is the devil is because he trains girls early on to become damsels in distress, helpless victims just waiting for a Prince Charming on a white horse to come rescue us. I loved his imagining of Cinderella, Snow White, the Little Mermaid. But they are VERY VERY BAD for young girls. It basically teaches us to have no value unless we get the guy. I could go on and on about the hidden messages in these films. And I mean, Sleeping Beauty, come on. A girl is asleep until a guy comes and kisses her? I relate. Pure evil.
Isn't it ironic? Don't ya think?
