#OkCupid: Getting the date!
After a month of online dating I’ve come to realize that there is an unspoken process to it all. How this happened or who made it up I do not know but it’s clearly in place. My sales experience has really made this easy but it is still labor intense. I’ll take you through what my experience has been like.
Creating your profile: Spend some time here. Upload at least one recent photo where you can clearly see your face. Make sure the thumbnail version is from the shoulders up. We are all visual creatures first. Fill in every category, age, sex, religion, etc, accurately. These are important for sorting. Not doing this could result in being eliminated from your dream partners search unintentionally. When writing your bio start from the beginning. My childhood was like this…My career is…I’m looking for someone…Right now I’m… This will give the other person you are emailing a lot of info about you and they should be able to generate plenty of questions in conversation.
The shotgun blast: Once a week you need to go people hunting. Scan though all the recent profiles and email anyone you are interested in. Don’t copy and paste a form letter. Read their entire profile and comment on it. Be sure to end the email with a question or two. This way they have a reason to reply. BE POSITIVE! Sarcastic is fine but make sure they clearly know you’re trying to me funny. Brush up on your email etiquette.
Following up: When you get an email returned, be sure to respond in 24 hours. Try to keep your response time consistent. If you’re the type that responds right away try to keep that up. People start getting panicked if they tried to write something witty and think you got offended. I’ve received several’ “sorry I didn’t mean” emails after they saw I read but didn’t reply to their email right away
Texting: Take the initiative and give the other person your number. Ask for theirs in return. If they wont give it to you after several emails you should probably move on. Why this is the next step, I do not know. We just wrote 20 email back and forth, why am I still typing. Regardless of my opinion this seems to be the next step in the process. I think it has something to do with the possibility of ruining the fantasy that women have about who the man on the other end is. Everyone can sound like George Clooney in an email. You’ll get to know more about their day to day stuff. And eventually schedule a date.
The phone call: I tried scheduling several dates via text and everyone flaked or postponed. Call your date the day before. Be up beat and happy. Try walking around. Motion creates emotion. This is the last drawbridge to meeting in person. If you can hold a 15-20 minute conversation with each other than you should have a successful date. That doesn’t mean it will be crazy passionate but it wont be painful.
The first date: At first I was committed to a cheap date. Now I’m committed to free. Dating cost WAAAAAAAY too much money for no reason. Find a nice, quiet, public spot to meet. Something with a view or an event at a specific time. Spend time talking to each other. Bars, restaurants, etc, all have way too much going on; too many distractions. If you can spend a solid hour with each other and feel your self getting comfortable then a second date or extension to your current date may be in order.
The rest is dating as usual.
Tip: If you have a smart phone, use it. I create a contact for every woman who is kind enough to give me their phone number or email. Set their profile picture in your caller ID. Fill out the notes sections with like and dislikes, their kids/dogs name, etc. This isn’t because I am working some kind of cruel system. It’s because I write a lot of emails to women on dating sites. I want to remember everything the old fashion way but it’s just not possible. I try to keep 10 conversations going because only 1 or 2 will result in date #2.