Okay, I have another #confession to make ...
SOOO, after this epic post last night - I heard from el duderino. Duh, because who wouldn't actually try calling and texting the chick that just said she won't date you anymore on her popular nerdy little website.
I totally caved, and agreed to go on another date tonight. However, the horrible part about it was that I really did GENUINELY like this human being, which is honestly why I even took his call to begin with.
At the end of all of it, while I was on my hike this morning - I got to thinking ... I'm going against my OWN motto!!! Does it feel good? Or does it not feel good? THIS. DOES. NOT. FEEL. GOOD.
I just became a chick for a minute, and had a heart! Also, I was so over talking, and somehow caving to a date seemed easier than trying to justify an otherwise moot point ...
I don't owe this dude anything, and he doesn't owe me anything. We weren't going out, so what's the big deal!! Why do the movies have to tell us that we need this whole sense of "closure" and we need to come to an "understanding." NOOOO!! There is no "understanding!!" That's such a load of bullshit that I actually just mistakenly yelled out Toro and flashed a red cape thinking a charge was coming.
Life is too short to not live every moment of it being happy. Right now, not feeling so hot. Why? Because I'm really not looking forward to having to deal with this. I'm NOOTTT a talker, I'm a do-er. I have absolutely no reason to justify my actions to anyone - I do what I want to do, when I feel like doing it! Doesn't make me special, just makes me awesome. I work really, really, really, really, REALLLYYYY hard all day and somehow spending a night "talking things through" with someone that yeah I care about - but don't want a future with is just too much to handle for my nerdy little brain to handle. I am on system overload, and totally ready to clear the cache.
So sorry el duderino, can't spend a minute not living out my own motto. The gnarly thing is that the timing on this could not be funnier. I am back to being solely dependent upon social media for communication ... so uh, I can't even talk on the phone. hahaha!! Many blessings ... and I might be going to hell for doing this, but I'm sure as heck going to throw one gnarly party on my way out!!!
Two things to live by nerds ...
Feels good / Doesn't feel good.
Use it as your detector of judgement in life. Trust your instincts!! All the answers you ever need to know are already inside of you - so start LISTENING!!!!
