I have a #confession to make ...

Jul 5

Okay, TNTML ... I have a confession to make ...

I, Jen Friel, dated someone for like 2.5 seconds. I know ... I know ... the business CEO chick has a heart #GASP!!! However, I learned a lot from this dude that I'd like to share with you all.

Please note, he is going to kill me because I totally haven't even said anything to him - however, I just AHH!! need to get this off my chest, and I'm pretty sure he's going to read this ... so just assume I am killing all birds with one really, really, REALLY big stone.

If I had met this guy 24 years and 8 months ago, I swear to you - I would have married him. He was on paper everything I was looking for. Super, crazy, retarded hot - super smart, super ... well SUPER! He's awesome, totally dug him. However, and I KNOOWWWWWW this sounds horrible, but his biggest downfall was that he just dug me too much!!! Am I going to hell for saying that? Because I'm just being painfully honest.

I'm over the bad boy thing. I've done that for far too long in my life ... however, I'm not sure how I feel about going 100% good boy either. I get SUCH a sense of satisfaction from what I do everyday, that I don't really want to date a guy that I then have to talk about my ENTIRE day with. I already TALK ABOUT IT!! I'm a friggen lifecaster! This is my nerdy form of art ... I broadcast my life across all the workable elements of social media. You can read my thoughts on Twitter, see where I've been on Foursquare - my life is PAINFULLY google-able, having to go across every new google alert with someone is just nauseating.

I'm at this weird point in my life where people kiss my ass. It's very strange - I get a medium that most don't. I'm not saying that makes me special, but it certainly makes me awesome enough to get my ass kissed by a lot of people everyday. I honestly, hate it. I even said that to my new manager - I said I will work with you under one condition, don't kiss my ass. I can't HANDLE it! Push me to be a better person, tell me after I just ran on the treadmill for 30 mins that next time I should try for 60.

It's just horrible to think that anyone I meet in the next however long will never be number 1 in my life. This blessed little website, and the projects I am launching from it will ALWAYS outweigh a dude. Is that god awful to think? Maybe, but I'm always honest - and it truly does break my heart, however I'm getting shit done. I just want a dude that I can shoot the shit with, have really, really, really, hot unapologetic sex with ... roll over and go back to world optimization. Is that too much to ask for? The whole responsibility of a relationship just completely turns me off. I want PASSION!!! I want SIZZLE!! And I get so damn much of it from what I do with work, that taking even 5% less is just asking for WAAYYYY too much.

It just broke my heart watching him try to figure out how he was going to fit into my weird and wanky little life. I just really, really, really, wanted him to just BE HIMSELF!!! Trying to say that he could fly there with me, and do this with me was just weird. I can't stand that shit. I operate on a more than merrier attitude, don't get me wrong - but where's the added value??? I'm totally not a Romeo and Juliet type chick. In fact, I've said for YEARS that Walt Disney ruined my life.

Note Post 1: Disney = Life Killer

Note Post 2: Why Walt Disney ruined my life

And he just kept saying to me over and over, you're just afraid ... don't push away what we have ... shit like that - I don't WANT to be a we, I just want to be a ME!!!!! I just wasn't on the same page. I couldn't possibly be!! My brain does NOT operate the same way as most people's. I have PASSION and this CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY FIERCE motivation to the likes of which man-kind has never known.

Do you know how GNARLY it is to know that 90% of the world has just become COMPLETELY irrelevant, and has turned online to the ONE medium you get like no one else?!?! I mean WTF?!?!?! How the HELL did that happen!?!? Well, I am capitalizing on it and making no apologies for it. I tell dudes I go out on even ONE date with, that I am VERY VERY VERY focused on what I do, and that if we date - you have to understand that I share my life with the world. They always say the same thing "I totally understand. I'm not like the rest ..." yada yada yada yada. I'm oovvveerrrrrr it!!!!

So there ya go TNTML community. I totally cheated on you ... and now I am ready for my punishment. RAWRWRRRR =)