@Kristi_Gail gets her own dating advice!

Looky, looky el nerderinos!!!! Our mistress of nerdy dating, just got an email from an el duderino.

See ... this is Kristi ...

 

*cough cough* The email sayysss ...AND I QUOTE!

Hey Kristi,

 

I already noticed you're really looking for love (yep, man notice these things, but more on that later). But yesterday I checked out your Twitter and you seem to be very serious about it; since you now have a profile on okcupid. Your style of writing is so funny and sassy. "I curse like a sailor" Haha!

 

Though you seem to have some troubles with finding love (you say so yourself). So, I figured perhaps I can give you some love advice from a male's perspective. Since my sister is looking for love too and has also a very strong personality going for her, I gave her the same tips a while ago. Because I think that with strong women like you, it's really your strength that's working against you when it comes to finding love. You know, Spiderman needs to learn how to deal with his super powers too first. Ok, here's my humble advice:

• Let men have / keep the illusion (yeah, I know how it works, haha) that they're the hunter and you're the prey. You don't wanna know how confused & frightened men become, the moment a woman starts to take initiative. I think this is the most important thing to think about for a strong woman. Though I've to admit that it seems the older I get, the more of a kick I get when a woman takes control. Perhaps it's a confidence thing. Besides, I've got a strong mother. And men look for a woman like their mother and women for a men like their father. That's psychologically determined. A immature / girly and dependent woman just turns me off in an instant. I guess you're going to have to find out first with which kind of man you're dealing.


• Give a man some time. Most women seem to know exactly what they want when it comes to love and they can easily commit. Most men are not like that. We need to have some time to kiss our life as a single goodbye, get used to the idea of having to commit etc. All of this takes some time. And we might be a bit insecure when it comes to love. We first need to check whether the water in the swimming pool is warm enough, before we're gonna jump into it...


• Women are really the strong gender. So, don't go too hard on a man. We might suck, even if we try our best. But that's just men being men. Have some patience, explain yourself in a calm and simple manner and then, sooner or later, we'll get the point you're trying to make. It's just like with kids, haha! Yelling and expecting them to do things on their own, doesn't work. Give 'm some guidance and have some patience. Most mean it well in the end, but they just suck at figuring out how to show it to you.


• Try not to put too much emphasis on the 'I want love' part, men will notice that. Just like women notice it when a man just wants to have sex. Try to hide it a little. Let a man get to know you first, let Him ask You out for a date, for a dance etc. And let him make his moves at his own (slower) pace. Mommy taught us to check people out first. And if love comes looking while we didn't get the chance to check someone out; we freak out. I mean, when I was kid (4 or 5 years old) the girl next door told me that she wanted to be my girlfriend (yeah, she was a bit too mature for her age I guess and she took away my illusion of being the hunter). I ran home and freaked out, haha! But that's how boys work and since men will pretty much be boys forever...

Well, that's just my 2 cents. Perhaps you think it sucks, perhaps it'll give you a better perspective on love on Mars. And a better understanding of how Mars looks at Venus. Who knows. But I mean it well ;)

 

Last but not least: love seems to be one of those things which tends to arrive when you least expect it (as you probably know too). Try not to force it too much. I'm sure that that knight in shining armor will come for you! Meanwhile, try to have some faith and some patience. Remember when I wrote to you that I once tried to fight against life? I lost big time! Life seems to have its own flow and it works best if you just go with it and try to enjoy it. It'll eventually take you to where you (your whole being) really need / want to be. Though for us strong minded "I want to be in control / I want it now" types, it can sometimes be hard to accept this :) At least, I myself find it hard sometimes. For example, I know I'm trying too hard to get a proper income. Well, I guess we both know how great I'm doing financially, haha! Which is why I'm now working on something that's about a passion as opposed to generate revenue asap.

 

Anyway, I hope I'm not sounding too much like a 'smarty pants'. I'm just trying to help you out a little :) I hope you understand...

 

Later,

 

Ralph

Agree or disagree el nerderinos???