#Earthquake hits DC

A 3.6-magnitude earthquake struck near the Gaithersburg, Maryland, area just after 5 a.m. ET Friday, according to the U.S. Geological Survey.

The center of the quake was about 20 miles northwest of Washington, D.C., the USGS said.

Bwahahaha! Those DC peeps! What pussies. Shaved ones at best.