#NaughtyMommy Happenings - how to make almond toffee

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

I live in Grand Junction, Colorado, and almond toffee is a big effing deal around here.  We have this local company called Enstrom's Toffee that makes tons of it and ships it all over the country.  Apparently it's delish, but I don't like toffee, so I mostly just like eating the chocolate off the top.  Pretty danged expensive chocolate habit, for reals.  Everyone else in the world seems to love the stuff, and not even joking it is way expensive to buy for people, so I decided to make it this year. And becuase I'm super awesome it turned out great after some adjustments, and I decided to share it with you.  This is a pretty forgiving recipe, you just have to pay attention to it.  Because it burns and that makes it taste like the pink part of a cat's butt.  You will need 2 sticks of butter, 1 3/4 cups of sugar, slivered or chopped almonds (if you want), and some chocolate (I used chocolate chips).

To start, melt 2 sticks of butter over medium heat.  Or medium low.  Whichever, but probably medium low if you aren't a ninja like me.  Right before it is all melted, add 1 3/4 cups of sugar.  Start stirring with a wooden spoon slowly.  The sugar will sort of incorporate.  You will be tempted to taste it.  Do.  It's not bad.  Continue stirring slowly (a figure 8 is a good pattern to go for) and just watch it.  This would be a good time to put clothes on...the butter will get hot and might pop.  Don't want to burn the nips or nards. 

It will turn a strange light brown color and look kinda gross.  That means you are doing it right.  Keep stirring.  For reals, you are going to have to stir the entire time.  Deal with it.  All of the sugar will incorporate for a while, then the butter will separate out.  Don't freak out.  Throw in your almonds.  Keep stirring.  Forevvveeeerrrr. 

When it turns the color of peanut butter (it's about 290 degrees, but don't even worry about that), take it off the stove.  Kick up the stirring a notch from slow to just trying to get that damn butter to stir back in.  When you get it mixed in as best as you can, take a spoon and scoop some of the butter off of the top if there is any left.  Pour the whole gloppy mess into a cookie sheet lined with wax paper.  Don't get it on your skin or you will want to die.  Put the cookie sheet over the sink or on the oven or a cooling rack or something so that hot piece of hotness doens't warp your counter (290 degrees, remember?). 

Once the toffee cools, melt some chocolate and spread it over the top.  I like dark chocolate, but milk chocolate will do.  You can melt a chocolate bar, melting chocolate, chocolate chips...whatever you want.  Spread it on the toffee, and plop it all in the fridge.  Or leave it on the counter if you are patient and won't stick your fingers in it.  I sprinkled the tops with toffee bits and crushed almonds, but it's totally not a necessity.  When it's all hardened, flip it over and bash it lightly with something, like a rolling pin or the bottom of a pan.  This will break it into manageable pieces.  Feel free to eat most of it, but try to give some of it as a present.  Throw it in a small tupperware or some of those clear plastic bags that you can totally get at the dollar store.

The end!  People will think you are so amazing - and you totally will be!  Good luck friends!

TwitPic me or tag me in a Facebook photo so I can see the amazing results you are coming up with!

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