My #loveletter to Adam Sandler
#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard
Dear Adam Sandler,
Oh, My Adam. First of all, thank you. Thank you for filling so many of my days with your wonderfully funny and ridiculous humor, and for filling so many of my nights with fantasies of your gorgeous face and rockin bod. Seriously, you drive me over the edge when you bite your lip at me, you know how I feel about it. Billy Madison became my favorite movie when I was still in middle school, and I am now on my third copy - the others were just used to death. I know the entire movie word for word. Seriously, it starts with "Suntan lotion is good for me, you protect me, tee hee hee. The sun tries to burn me but you won't let it, will ya?" I digress....
You haven't made a movie that I don't love. Okay, I'll admit, Zohan isn't my favorite. I'm not a political person and there were just so many references. I did, however, love your naked hotness all up in my face. *shivers* I own a solid amount of the dvds, but sadly, my collection is lacking. I'm poor, the end. What is my favorite movie, you ask? Hahaha, oh My Adam, you are adorable. I'm going to have to say that my favorite would be 50 First Dates. Or Billy Madison. Or The Longest Yard. Or Little Nicky. Or Click. I don't know, you know not to ask my such hard questions.
While I love your sense of humor, and try to quote you at least once a day, I am also a big fan of your more serious roles. I thought Punch-Drunk Love was fanfrickintastic. Seriously, nicely done, my love. And Reign Over Me = brilliant. Love them all. And I totally can't wait to see what you will be coming out with next. Also, thanks for making some milder movies so I can start engraining you into my children at an early age.
I want to let you know that the best gift I have ever gotten in my life was when I was 14. My mom asked a local store to hold the Waterboy display for her, and she wrapped it up for me. It was a lifesized cardboard cutout of you in your adorable orange uniform. I cried. And I hung it over my bed until it fell apart from misuse several years later. I miss that thing, but the hubs is concerned enough about my "adoration" (some people have called it other things), so I will resort to looking at that eggshaped head on my television and computer screen.
So, My Adam, although I can not fully explain how much I adore you, I hope this will start the process. I will see you in my dreams tonight, sir.
Feel the same? Drop me a line on Twitter: @JenSquard
And if you don't...I feel sorry for your soul.