My #life as a #wife...

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @JenSquard

Hi friends!  So it looks like some bunskies got a little puckered over a posting by @JenFriel (I’m talking about this one).  So here I come to show a different side of things.  I’m a young (26) nerdette, I am married, and I have three (yeah, 3) kids.  Here is my story:

I was wild as a youngen.  And when I say wild I don’t mean I was the girl that would get rowdy at parties and maybe flash someone.  I mean WILD – yeah, I was that girl.  Drinking.  Nakedness.  Sexing.  Partying.  Smoking.  I’m sure there is more, but the memories are foggy.  I was smart, active in school, had loads of friends from loads of different social circles, and a rockin bod.  A D cup in high school = trouble.  I also had an abusive turd for a father, a mom that had to work three jobs to keep us in a house, and all of the issues that came with all of these things.  So I NEEEEVVVVVEEEEERRRRRRR wanted to get married.  I sure as shit didn’t want kids.  I had plans, I had goals, and I had a future.  And a husband and kids would just hold me back.  My dad told me more than once that I would marry young, never make anything of myself, and end up barefoot and pregnant.  That was NOT going to be me.  

My last year of high school I was in a serious relationship with a total tool (again, daddy issues), and we moved in together for convenience while I went to college.   It wasn’t anything special, we were mostly friends that just “loved” each other.  Not someone I was going to marry, just someone I was having fun with.  I had plans, and he wasn’t down for them (like moving to another country to work with animals), and that didn’t bother me at all.  My sophomore year of college I got the opportunity to go to Ecuador for a summer to study caterpillars  - I geeked out, worked 50 hours a week, and made it happen.  The first week there I met Brian, he was also a student there for a two week tour with our group.  He had been in a class with me but I was in a relationship (and so was he), so I hadn’t really noticed.  Our connection was immediate.  Just like in the movies.  I made a lame Austin Powers reference and he totally finished the quote – something the tool had never done.  We both secretly did whatever we could to work together on projects, we learned tons about each other and fell so super deep in love that it freaked our freaked.  It took 10 days.  We broke off the relationships at home, he ended up spending the summer there, and it’s been beyond amazing ever since.  We married the following year, and got pregnant on our honeymoon.  Anika came in 2007, Tucker in 2009 and Cadence in 2010 (and they were all planned, believe it or not).  

My life now is so different than high school Jen expected.  Instead of working as a zoologist I work as a professional photographer.  Instead of caring for wild animals I care for….well…wild animals.  I have a degree that I’m not using for anything other than annoying people with trivia.  So the addition of my four favorite people did change things.  I gave up a lot to have this family.  I would love to work in my field.  I would love to be in school.  But it has also enriched my life beyond belief.  The light in my daughters eyes when she tells me the things she knows (she knows that caymans are crocodiles) makes me so proud that I could just die.  Having a husband that supports all of my crazy ideas and is willing to do anything for me is more than anyone deserves. 

I do still have dreams.  I have goals.  I have a plan.  And they are all the same as ten years ago.  The timeline has just shifted.  We decided to get married and have kids early, then do grad school and travelling later.  I get to run around like a crazy person now while I have the energy.  I get to build a new profession that will benefit me my entire life.  And I get to love every minute of every day.  In five years I will head to grad school, get my PhD, and relocate the family to Ecuador.  Or something along those lines.  

So while things have changed, it certainly wasn’t a change for the worse.  Randomly finding my perfect match isn’t settling for something that society deems appropriate, it seems a lot more like fate.  Or good luck.  Or whatever.  When the world presents something like that, you snatch it up.  Not one of my choices has been because that’s what I’m supposed to do.  Actually, everyone wanted us to wait until after college to get married, and spend our twenties travelling.  By today’s standards we were supposed to wait until our thirties to have kids.  And we were only supposed to have a boy and a girl.  Nothing more.  And two dogs.  And a little fence.  Maybe we seem weird to our friends that have chosen a different path, but we are also weird to people living a similar life.  Honestly, how many 26-year-olds with 3 kids do you see lifecasting?  We are rebels, doing whatever the hell makes us happy.  

Our situation isn’t perfect, or easy.  But it’s the life we want, and we are on the track to fulfilling all of the dreams we have built for ourselves as a family and as individuals. 

So if you are in the same situation – LIVE IT UP.  Don’t sit in your cubicle just paying the bills.  Follow your passion.  Find what you love.  Ruts aren’t ravines, you can get out of them. 

I don’t care if you are married with 2.5 kids, if you are the CEO of a major corporation, or if you are a slutty slutty whore.  Do it because it makes you happy, not because your friends, family or society like it.  Settling is for d-bags, and you are not a d-bag.   

You likey?  Tell me about it on Twitter or Facebook.  I'll love you long time.