A letter to my daughter:
No, I'm not preggers - however abstinence is only 99.99% effective. I digress ...
I live a lot of my life in reflection. Constantly trying to process and translate things I am experiencing. Somewhere lost in translation, it sparked my maternal instinct and prompted me to take notes on what I would say to my daughter. I've been taking them for about a year now - keeping them in a journal. Here is my advice ... so far:
(I would be writing this to my son too, but I can only speak from a woman's heart. I by no means am playing favorites.)
Dear daughter,
You will come to me for advice in life, and I will do my best to help, but I do not have all the answers. You need to trust your inner guidance, and not be afraid to follow your heart. It cannot steer you wrong.
A boy one day will break your heart, for that I am sorry. Nothing hurts like a broken heart. However understand this: they had their motives for doing what they did- that was not your fault. Instead of beating yourself up, wondering what you did wrong- you need to instead look inside of yourself and figure out why you were attracted to that person. What hunger did they feed? Figure that out - and you are miles ahead of most of the world.
When you are around 13, you will hate me. That is okay, you're a teenager, you're supposed to dislike your parents at that age. When you're in your 20s and in therapy, you will dislike me again. That's okay too! Love is unconditional, and I know that part of being an adult is mourning your own childhood.
Listen to people. Sometimes people don't want attention, they just want to be heard. Be an active listener, don't just smile and nod. Watch what happens when you are present and actively listening- the person won't know what to do with themselves.
Follow your own path in life. Don't try to be like anyone else. Be version 1.0 of you. You're made just the way you're supposed to be. Trying to fit in with the crowd doesn't work. You'll notice this especially at your 10 year reunion. Suddenly, the cool kids don't seem so "cool" anymore. I'm even going to try to tell you what I think is best, and how your life should be, but don't listen. As much as I think I know what is right for you, I am wrong. Follow your heart.